We all have mental boxes we hold on to. These boxes can also be called limiting beliefs, negative cognitions, the pain body, emotional bean bags, or even samscaras (my personal favorite). Whatever you choose to call them, these boxes are exactly what they sound like: limiting.
Limiting beliefs begin as a way to keep us safe. They may develop from traumatic experiences, social conditioning, or even having a parent tell you what to do and not do. When they begin, these boxes are a way for the mind, or the ego, to keep you safe. To give you a boundary that represents what is safe on the inside, and what is not safe on the outside.
Because these boundaries are so helpful when they are first created, we often don’t realize when they begin to become destructive. Over time, these beliefs and boxes that once helped us start to hold us back, keeping us stuck in the past and in our own perceived box of safety.
Often, because these beliefs are the product of the past, we have quite literally grown out of them, but we don’t realize their presence until we begin to feel trapped, anxious, or stuck.
But what happens after we realize we have these boxes? After we have identified the boundary, the belief, or the beanbag, what then? Breaking down these boxes can seem quite daunting, to this post is dedicated to providing eight ways to release your limiting beliefs.
Freedom from these boxes and beliefs allows you to connect with yourself as you truly are, in this moment. Liberation from the confines of your ego allows your soul to shine through. While dissolving these boxes may seem daunting, these eight tips are a great place to start.
1. Identify the boxes
This first tip seems obvious, but it is often overlooked. The first step to releasing mental boxes is to acknowledge they are there. Identify the boxes and limiting beliefs that have taken shape in your mind, so that you know what it is you are working with. The easiest ways to find these boxes and beliefs is to explore your areas of mental resistance. (Not sure how to define resistance? Check out this post).
2. Thank them
While this may seem counterintuitive at first glance, thanking your limiting beliefs can be the first step to releasing them. By thanking them, you are acknowledging their presence, their true nature, without judgement. Thank them for keeping you safe, thank them for teaching you lessons that you needed, and, most of all, thank them for doing their job so darn well. Your mind, or your ego, created that box as the result of a past experience. In doing so, it wasn’t trying to harm you, it was trying to keep you safe. So spend some time genuinely thanking your boxes. They kept you safe for a long time, but it is okay to not need them anymore. Fully acknowledging their presence brings you to a neutral ground, relieving any negative feeling you may have towards the box, and allowing your mind to become more open.
3. Love them
Thanking your box for keeping you safe brings you to neutral ground. This is the place where your mind and soul are equally available to you. Because boxes are the product of the mind, tip 3 brings you closer to the wisdom of your soul and farther away from the confines of your mins. This step not only means loving the limiting belief itself, but also loving the person you were when that belief was formed.
Love the situation, no matter how horrible it was at the time. Love what it taught you, what you learned from it, and who you became because of the situation. Love who you were in that moment and love you who are now. Remember, this is not the conditional love of the mind: You should be sending this love with the unconditional nature of the soul. Often, sending this kind of soul love, truly and unconditionally loving the box and all that comes with it, is enough to dissolve the belief. By this point you may have detached from the mind enough that the box simply disappears. If it did, wonderful. If not, that’s okay too. Read on.
4. Ask yourself: Is this belief actually mine?
Mental boxes become so engrained that we never stop to question if they are actually ours in the first place. Taking the time to identify when you learned to think this way, and who it was that taught you to think that way, can be a powerful exercise. Recognize that nine times out of then, the beliefs we hold were given to us by other people or societal programming. This means that, had we not been exposed to a specific person or situation, we would never have developed the belief. So take the time to think: Who’s belief is this? Who does this box belong to? The box and belief could not have been created without outside influence, so what was the influence?
Taking the time to recognize that this belief is not yours alone, but rather part of a network of beliefs that belong to both you and the people around you, can help to free your mind from attachment. Acknowledge that, because this box was created by thought, and given to you through someone else’s influence, it can also be undone and released. If the belief is something you learned from someone else, ask yourself: do I still want to believe this?
5. Ask yourself: What if you didn’t think this way?
Take the time to sit down and truly visualize what life would look like if you didn’t have this limiting belief. If you thought outside of your box, how would you act? How would you feel? Allow your mind to see what life would look like if you moved beyond the box. Don’t skim over this one: it gives you an opportunity to truly see if you want to release the belief. Without truly knowing what you want by releasing the belief, you won’t get very far. So take the time to visualize what life would look like beyond the box.
Ask yourself: What if I didn’t think this way? What then? See what happens, you may be surprised. Better still, by visualizing life beyond the box, you are opening the neural networks in your brain, undoing the old programming and allowing new pathways to take form. As simple as it sounds, this tip is extremely powerful. So, what if?
6. Meditate
You knew this one was coming. Taking the time to reflect deeply on these boxes, beliefs, and beanbags often opens up a story you had never thought of. Meditation is the perfect chance to combine your mental box with the wisdom of your soul, reaching back into your past to find the true root of the belief.
Sit quietly, and just notice the belief. Notice how it makes your body feel, what color it is, what shape. Notice if you like having this belief, or if you would rather let it go. Allow this process to bring up anything it needs to: it is all okay, and it is all allowed. Notice what your soul has to say about this box, and then check in with your mind. No meditation experience is ever the same, so allow whatever happens for you to happen.
7. Cut the cord
If none of these tips have worked, or you want something more physical to work with, this tip is for you. Close youreyes and imagine a rope connecting your body to the belief, box, or beanbag. Allow whatever mental image that comes up to come up, and trust that it is right for you. As you visualize this rope, acknowledge it. Thank it for being there, love it for all that it has done for you, and then fully acknowledge that it is time to let it go. Tell your body that it is okay to let it go, that it will be safe without this rope.
Then, visualize a large pair of scissors, a knife, or even just your hands. Watch as you cut through the rope. Depending on how attached you are to this belief, cutting through the rope may take a lot of time and effort, and that’s okay. Once you have cut through the rope, watch as it falls away. Once it is disconnected it cannot stay alive. Allow the belief, box, or beanbag to disappear.
Notice how it feels to be free. Feel what it feels like to live without the rope. This visualization may take multiple attempts to truly clear the belief, beanbag, or box, but each time you cut the cord you allow your mind to slowly loosen its grip, and realize that you can be safe outside the box.
8. Just try.
This tip is my favorite, and perhaps the most powerful. Just try stepping out of the box. Try thinking a different way, choosing to act differently and see what happens. When you step out of your box, nothing is stopping you from stepping back in.
Give your mind a timeline. Take a 24 hour window, or if that feels too long, even just one hour, to step outside the box. To live the way you visualized in step 5. Live it fully and see what happens. If you don’t like it, you can always step back into your box. But after tasting freedom, that box will feel a lot smaller.
So just try it. Set a timer, and step outside the box. If it’s not for you, you can step right back in. But you never know, you may be surprised.
Those are eight tips to move beyond the box and release your limiting beliefs. Tell me, did they help you? What are your favorite ways to live beyond the box?
